Sometimes, people make decisions when drafting their estate plan that they don’t discuss with their family. They may want to avoid the conflict inherent in telling a child that their sibling is getting more money than them or that they’re leaving the bulk of their estate to their favorite animal rescue group instead of their children and other family members. They may feel that a friend or caregiver has done more for them in their old age than any of their kids and want to reward them accordingly.

When family members find out that they’ve been left little or nothing after a loved one has passed away, they may suspect that something is amiss — particularly if that loved one never talked with them about their estate plan.

If you’ve been completely disinherited or received only a small fraction of a loved one’s assets compared to others, you may be considering contesting the estate plan in court. It’s essential to understand the grounds required for such a contest. At least one of the following must have occurred:

Lack of capacity

You’ll need to show that your loved one wasn’t mentally capable of understanding the provisions and ramifications of the estate plan when they created or changed it, perhaps because they were suffering from dementia or impaired by drugs.

Undue influence

You would have to prove that someone pressured your loved one into leaving their assets to them rather than you and/or others they intended to have them.

Fraud

You would need to provide evidence that your loved one was tricked into leaving assets to someone else. Perhaps, for example, they thought they were signing a different document than they were.

Improper execution

You would need to show that the estate plan wasn’t properly prepared or executed as required under state law.

An estate plan contest can be very costly. Therefore, it’s wise to consider whether you have a valid case. Further, would the amount you’d receive if the challenge was successful be worth what it would cost you — both in money and fractured relationships?

Of course, if someone acted illegally to try to gain assets your loved one didn’t intend to leave them — particularly if elder abuse was involved — you may want to pursue a criminal case. It’s wise to talk with an experienced attorney to determine your best course of action.

As we age, most of us will become less independent at one point or another. While many elderly people are able to continue living relatively independently in the later years of their lives, others require the type of support that family members would simply not be able to provide.

If you are worried about the declining health of one of your loved ones, you might be concerned about their safety when they are living at home without constant support. In this situation, it is likely that you will want to talk to your parent about their future, but it can be difficult to know where to start.

How to start the conversation

It can be a challenge to raise questions surrounding assisted living, because the topic can be sensitive. You would never want your parent to think that you were trying to take away their freedom, or see them as a burden or inconvenience in any way.

This is why you should try to raise the topic in a lighthearted but sensitive way. You may want to kick start the conversation by talking about an issue that sparked you to have concerns. For example, if your parent had a fall recently, you might want to mention this to them and explain that if this had happened at a different time of day or near a stairwell, the consequences could have become much more serious. Using this specific concern as a conversation starter, you may be able to talk about the topic in a broader way.

Taking the time to learn about your parent’s preferences

If your parent is still of sound mind, you may want to raise questions about their preferences regarding nursing care and assisted living. You cannot take for granted that they will always be competent enough to express their own preferences regarding this. You may also want to look into the ways that estate plans can help aging people to state their wishes in later life.

If you have an aging parent, it is important that you take the time to understand how the law makes it possible for them to set their preferences for assisted living and health care.

It’s essential to review your estate plan whenever a significant life event happens to you or someone in your family. You’ll want to determine if any modifications are necessary to make sure that your plan reflects your current wishes.

Divorce is a life event that can require a number of modifications. You likely don’t want your ex having power of attorney or other fiduciary authority over your estate. Chances are, you don’t want them to be one of the primary beneficiaries of your assets, either.

California probate law does prevent people from inheriting assets from a deceased ex unless the deceased spouse reaffirmed their wish for their ex to inherit something after the divorce was final. Nonetheless, it’s wise to make your wishes clear — whatever they are — to help avoid a court battle over your estate.

What if you included your stepchildren in your estate plan? Many people become close to their stepchildren over the years and even help raise them. When that’s the case, it may seem natural to want to leave them something after you’re gone.

California law doesn’t automatically nullify those gifts as designated in an estate plan after a stepparent divorces the children’s parent. In at least a couple of cases dealing with this issue, though, the courts determined that the deceased stepparent’s wishes prior to the divorce — and not updated after it — likely no longer were the same when they died.

In one case, an appellate court ruled that “when a testator provides for his spouse’s children, he normally intends to exclude children of an ex-spouse after dissolution, unless a contrary intention is indicated elsewhere in his will.”

In another case, a different appellate court noted that in determining what to do, it could also look at whether the stepparent and stepchild continued to have a relationship after the divorce and determine from that what the deceased stepparent would have wanted.

As noted, by updating your estate plan after your divorce and making your current wishes clear, you eliminate the need for a court to try to determine what you wanted. You also save your current and former loved ones the stress, time and expense of going to court.

Many baby boomers who are hitting their senior years are divorced, widowed or have remained single their whole lives. A number of them never had children. If you have no heirs, is there any reason to have an estate plan?

There is if you want a say in what happens to your assets after you die. If you don’t have any immediate family, it’s also important to determine who will oversee your financial obligations and your medical care if you become incapacitated and can’t do so yourself. This involves giving one or more people powers of attorney for these matters.

People who have no close family often leave their assets to charitable organizations or an alma mater. One certified financial planner says that he works with clients to “find out what they’re passionate about.”

He says that one client established a foundation to provide scholarships to deserving kids attending the school where she once taught. If you can afford to start giving away your money while you’re still alive, as this woman did, he notes, “you get to see the fruits of your labor.”

Choosing the person who will oversee the handling of your estate is also a crucial decision for people who don’t have any immediate family. It’s essential to choose someone who is trustworthy and up to the task of administering your estate. When people don’t have a close friend or someone else in their lives whom they feel can handle this responsibility, they sometimes choose a financial institution that offers this service (for a fee, of course) to handle the estate.

As one financial professional cautions, “Don’t let the fact that you don’t know the perfect way to do [an estate plan] make you do nothing at all.” By talking with an experienced attorney, you can develop an estate plan that will meet your unique needs.

When a loved one passes away and leaves you in charge of their estate, you need to start with a general accounting process that focuses specifically on all of the little details. Every penny matters. You need to know where it went, how it got used and why it got used that way. Leave nothing out.

The key is to match up the estate plan with the actual estate. If it says that a bank account contains $100,000 to get split between the heirs, you need to confirm that it actually has $100,000. Never assume that the plan is accurate. Always double-check. Things change and many disputes happen because it’s unclear where the money went. Keeping track helps you determine how to move forward and follow the plan as well as possible.

To help you, here are a few key steps to take:

1. Take inventory of the estate

First and foremost, you need to go over the estate and match it up with the plan, as noted above. You cannot begin administering the estate properly until you know exactly what it contains. Look at everything from bank accounts to investment funds to retirement funds to physical assets. Make a list of all of the assets that the person owned at the time of their death. This can help you find mistakes in the plan or missing assets.

2. Pay off the taxes

While the heirs may be interested in getting the money that the deceased left for them, they do not come first. You must ensure that the estate has the money to pay off the taxes. These could include final income tax returns or property taxes. If you distribute the money to the heirs and then lack the money to pay the taxes, it’s a serious problem.

3. Pay off other debts

Similarly, the estate may come with other debts that you need to take care of. Think of the money you owe — mortgage payments, credit card payments, car payments. If the deceased had any of the same debts, you need to take care of them in some fashion.

4. Cover the costs of estate administration

Dealing with the rest of the estate can also lead to some extra costs, which you need to cover. For instance, perhaps you want to sell the family home and divide the money. The buyer asks you to cover the closing costs. That money needs to come out of the earnings before they get divided.

All told, you just need to focus on the details, understand the legal process and know exactly what steps to take. If you work your way through the process carefully, you can divide the estate with minimal conflict.

People often hear about the need to create a will, but some people don’t pay attention to what happens when a person dies and there isn’t one in place. When there isn’t an estate plan in place, the person is said to have died intestate.

California laws govern who is going to get what when their loved one dies without a will. The Probate Code’s intestate succession section outlines all matters related to their assets. There are many different aspects of this code that can apply to various circumstances, so you should find out how they apply specifically to your case before you make any decisions.

“Birthright” might not matter

Some individuals assume that because they are the eldest child, they are entitled to a large part or all of the estate. This isn’t the case. In fact, there is nothing in California intestate laws that sets one child of a decedent in a better position than another child.

If the decedent was married at the time of death, any community property will become the property of the surviving spouse. It might be necessary to file a spousal property petition to formally establish ownership of the property for that spouse. Quasi-community property is handled a bit differently, depending on whether the decedent had other living heirs who need to split the property.

An unmarried person’s intestate succession order would start out with any children they have. They would all split the assets equally as long as they are the same generation. Without living children, there is a chance that assets would pass down to grandchildren or great grandchildren.

If the unmarried person doesn’t have offspring, the assets go to their parents. If the parents aren’t living, everything is split by the decedent’s siblings or their offspring. The line continues with the grandparents and then aunts and uncles, followed by cousins. The list continues with relatives further down the line.

Not all property is covered

There are many types of assets that aren’t governed by intestate laws. The general law is that the asset has to be eligible for distribution through a will in order to be subjected to intestate succession laws. Some of the ineligible ones include:

  • Bank accounts with a payable on death designation
  • Life insurance policies
  • Vehicles with a transfer on death registration
  • Joint tenancy property
  • Community property with a right of survivorship
  • Anything in a living trust
  • Retirement accounts

It is important to understand these intestate laws since many people will die without a will. It can help to ensure that you are handling probate matters in an appropriate manner.

If you’re planning to give marriage a second (or maybe third) try in the new year, you likely have more assets and people to protect that you did when you married the first time. A prenuptial agreement can help you and your partner protect the assets you bring into the marriage and ensure that the financial well-being of any children you have from previous relationships is protected.

If you don’t already have an estate plan, this is the time to get one. If you do have one, you’ll likely need and want to make some revisions and additions to it.

For example, sometimes people choose to set up one or more trusts before they remarry with their children from their first marriage as beneficiaries. Doing something like this will help ensure that your children — not your new spouse — get the money you intend them to have if you die.

If you have a will, make sure that it’s current. You may want to add your spouse and possibly their children. If you haven’t removed your former spouse, now is the time to do so. The more current a will is, the less likely it is to be challenged in court.

You likely want to update any documents designating the person(s) who will handle your financial and medical care decisions if you’re not able to do so. If you neglect to do this and your former spouse still has these rights, a nasty battle could ensue if you become incapacitated and unable to speak for yourself.

These are just a few estate planning matters you may need to consider if you’re remarrying. A prenup can be valuable if you divorce. However, you also want to consider what will happen when you die. An experienced attorney can help you draft or revise the appropriate estate planning documents based on your needs and wishes.

You know that dementia is a risk for your parents, but how do you know when it’s actually starting to set in? It’s not as if they suddenly deteriorate mentally in a clear and obvious fashion. It can take a long time, people have good and bad days, and you need to understand what early warning signs to watch out for.

Remember, every case is different. While memory issues are perhaps the most common, people also struggle with language issues, communication problems, trouble reasoning and an inability to focus. Be on the lookout for changes in all of these key areas.

That said, here are a few specific warning signs to keep in mind:

1. Stumbling over words and not finding the proper ones

Your father is telling you how he had to fix his car over the weekend, something he’s done for as long as you can remember. He’s very experienced and knows the terminology well. Then he tells you that he had to go get a new saw for the job, but he pauses. He looks confused for a brief moment and then says, very deliberately, that it was a wrench he had to go get.

He may shake it off and it could be that he just misspoke. We’ve all done that, especially when distracted. But having trouble finding the right words when you should know the words is one of the first signs that something is wrong.

2. Experiencing short-term memory lapses

Your mother can tell you all about her wedding day, even though it was decades ago. She can tell you about her first job or her best friend from high school or the day you were born.

But one day, when you casually ask her what she had for breakfast, she simply can’t recall. It was just a few hours ago, but she’s not sure until she goes into the kitchen and looks at the dirty dishes.

Again, it’s easy to write this off as nothing at all, but these little memory issues may grow worse. When they do, elderly people can start to settle into the most common trends seen with serious dementia.

3. Misplacing items

Every day, your father sets his keys on the window ledge when he comes home. Then, one day, they’re not there. You find them a few hours later. They’re in the fridge.

Misplacing items may go hand-in-hand with a general sense of confusion. People start to make little mistakes more often or they start doing things that even they do not understand when asked about them later.

Moving forward

When your loved one develops dementia, there’s a lot to learn about working with their estate and planning for medical care. Make sure you know exactly what steps to take.

Many of us have at least one family member we love but who has been lost to us due to alcohol and/or drug abuse or perhaps a series of bad life choices. When people are creating an estate plan, there are ways to set up a trust for someone like that so that they don’t get money they’ll only use to harm themselves.

Discretionary trusts can be established so that if a person turns their life around (for example, completes a recovery program and stays sober for a specified period), they can have access to the funds. Of course, that can place a significant burden on the trustee who has to determine if and when the beneficiary should receive the inheritance.

Many parents opt to disinherit their wayward child completely. So, what happens if you’re administering an estate or a trust for a parent or other family member who left a loved one nothing? Do you have to notify them that they aren’t receiving an inheritance?

If the estate plan was established here in California, you may have to. If a person set up a living trust, for example, with two of their three children as beneficiaries, all the children are required under California probate law to be notified of the existence of the trust — even if they weren’t named in it.

If the person can be located, the trustee would have to sign a letter informing them that they were not included in the estate plan. An attorney handling the estate would typically send that letter. If the person can’t be located (after a legitimate search), the administrator can’t be held responsible for not informing them of the contents of the estate plan.

If the person who was left out wouldn’t be presumed under probate law to be a beneficiary, no notification is necessary. This might be the case, for example, if it’s a stepchild, and the biological parent is no longer alive.

If you’re a trustee, executor or have other fiduciary responsibilities for an estate and you have a similar situation, talk with the attorney for the estate or another experienced attorney. They can advise you of your responsibilities under California law.

As challenging as it may be, there could come a time in your life when you need to choose a nursing home for a loved one. Moving through the process can be complex and time-consuming, but there are steps you can take to ensure yourself of making the right decision at the right time.

Here are six questions to ask and answer when choosing a nursing home:

  • Is it the right location? This will impact your life in many ways, such as your ability to conveniently visit your loved one. It’s not the only thing to consider when making a final decision, but it should sit at the top of your list.
  • Which nursing homes have the best reputation? You should never choose a nursing home with a less than stellar reputation, as this is a risk you don’t need to take. There are plenty of facilities out there with many years experience providing top of the line care.
  • What are the staffing ratios? This gives you a clear idea of the type of attention your loved one can expect to receive. Taking this one step further, get a clear idea of the type of people on staff, ranging from registered nurses to certified nursing assistants.
  • What is the staff turnover? This gives you a good idea of whether the people who work at the nursing home enjoy the atmosphere. Low turnover typically means that workers are happy with their day-to-day job and responsibilities.
  • What types of services do you offer? Don’t assume that all nursing homes are the same in regard to the services they offer. For example, your loved one may require special attention for their dementia.
  • What steps do you take in the event of a medical emergency? This is a specific question to ask every nursing home you’re considering. You want to know that there is a plan in place should your loved one require urgent attention.

While these are among the most important questions to ask and answer when choosing a nursing home, others may come to mind. Be sure to address those as well.

As you move through this difficult process, stay in touch with your loved one about their incapacity plans. It’s important that they have everything in order, as this helps protect their legal rights.