When a loved one begins to age, one of the risks is that they could develop dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Dementia isn’t a specific disease, but it is a condition that can negatively impact a patient’s life.

If your loved one had dementia while planning their estate, there is good reason to be concerned. This condition, along with Alzheimer’s and others, makes it harder for people to make good decisions based on the facts. They may be forgetful or make sudden decisions unaware of their impact. If they had dementia or Alzheimer’s disease while making decisions about their estate plan or will, they may have made mistakes or changes that you can fight in court.

How can you recognize dementia and prove it to the court?

Dementia is actually a term referring to symptoms associated with a loss in memory or the decrease in thinking skills. These losses have to be significant enough to reduce the person’s abilities or to stop them from actively performing everyday activities. In around 60 to 80 percent of cases, Alzheimer’s disease is the case of dementia.

In other cases, vascular dementia may be the cause of memory loss. This is usually a result of a serious health condition, like a stroke. Other potential causes of dementia include vitamin deficiencies and thyroid problems. The good news about those causes are that they are reversible.

To recognize the symptoms of dementia, you should look for:

• Memory loss
• Poor reasoning or judgment
• A loss of visual perception
• Poor language use or communication
• A loss of the ability to focus or pay attention

Dementia is progressive in most cases. That means that the symptoms might start out slowly. For example, a person might forget their keys or struggle to remember what they were supposed to be doing. This often worsens to the point that a person has trouble remembering appointments, being able to navigate their neighborhood or remembering the names or faces of those they love.

If you noticed this during your loved one’s life, then you likely took them to their medical provider. If there is a diagnosis of dementia or a date of incapacity, then you should provide that to the court during any dispute. The judge needs to be aware that there was a potential for your relative to be taken advantage of or to make decisions out of confusion. In that case, they may turn to older wills or plans to determine how to distribute assets.

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You’re drafting a detailed, well-thought-out estate plan with your attorney. You’re stipulating your wishes for your assets clearly so that your administrators can carry out your wishes. You’ve also got powers of attorney designated to handle your finances and oversee your health care if you become seriously injured or disabled and can’t speak for yourself.

There’s just one problem — no one knows how to get into your documents and records. Your email account, bank accounts other records and documents require passwords, personal identification numbers (PINs) and/or access keys to access. Even when people have that information, they may be prompted to answer questions about your elementary school, first concert and favorite vacation destination. Just to access anything on your computer or phone, they may need a code.

It’s essential to have a list of the passwords and other access information you need to handle all of your financial and other online activities — from logging into your email account to accessing your health insurance plan to paying your electric bill. If you don’t have a list, it may take a little time to build one, but it’s necessary.

Once you do, where do you put it so that it’s safe, but accessible when needed? Don’t place it in a safe deposit box. It may be some time before people can access it. If you have a safe at home, that’s a better option. Your attorney can keep the combination in your file if no one else has it.

There are online services available that store password information. However, remember that anything you store online could potentially be accessed by hackers.

When you designate an executor and other fiduciaries, you may choose to give them your passwords and other access information. However, they need to keep it in a safe place. If you change any of it, you’ll need to notify them.

It’s best to talk with your estate planning attorney about how best to ensure that your information is accessible to those authorized to have it after you’re gone. You could have one password-protected document with all of your information, so just one password is required to access it. Your attorney may be able to keep it and provide it to your designated fiduciaries when the time comes. If not, they can recommend some options for keeping this valuable information safe but easily accessible when needed.

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Sometimes, when developing an estate plan, people choose to place conditions on the money inherited through wills or trusts. The beneficiary must meet what’s called a “condition precedent.” For example, you may make your grandchild a beneficiary of a trust, but only after they’ve graduated from college or if they use the money to start a business.

Some conditions aren’t legal. For example, you can’t tie a gift to someone getting divorced or married or changing (or remaining in) their religion.

However, if the condition is legal, does it always have to be satisfied for the beneficiary to inherit the money? What if it’s impossible to meet? Then a court will need to weigh in.

For example, sometimes circumstances change, but the grantor of the trust or will doesn’t amend the document before they die to reflect those changes. In one case here in California, a business owner used a trust to leave money to several employees with the condition that they still had to be working for him when he passed away. He sold the company before his death, but didn’t amend the trust.

When they took the matter to court, the judge ruled based on something called the “Doctrine of Impossibility.” This allows for the removal of a condition precedent if it can’t be satisfied. The people who were still working for the company when he sold it received their inheritance. One who had left before he sold it did not.

One way to help prevent situations where your heirs and beneficiaries have to go to court because a condition can’t be met — aside from amending your estate plan as circumstances change — is to include language in the conditions to account for changes in circumstance. Experienced California estate planning attorneys can help people craft their estate planning documents to minimize the need for modifications.

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One of your parents already passed away, leaving the remaining parent living at home alone. At first, it’s not a problem. Soon, though, it becomes clear that your parent needs more assistance. Living alone is difficult and even dangerous.

You love your parent, and you know how hard it will be to move out of the house, but you can’t avoid the issue. When is the right time to put them in an assisted living home? How do you know if it’s time to make the move or if you need to give them some more time on their own?

It’s a sensitive subject, to be sure. Your parent may not like you weighing in on it at all. But you have to do what is best for them, even when they don’t know what that is.

Home safety

The first thing to look for, as noted above, is a lack of basic safety in the home. Maybe your parent has dementia, and you worry that they’re going to accidentally leave the gas on when cooking on the stove. Maybe they have physical disabilities, and you worry that they’re going to slip in the shower. When you have significant safety concerns and you can’t be there yourself, it may be time for a move.

Too much for caregivers

One intermediate step is to have a caregiver in the home. This could be a family member. It could be someone you hire to help out. This person can drop by once a day to help with things — shopping, cleaning, cooking, showering, etc — that your parent can’t do anymore. This may work for a time, but when it becomes too stressful and too much for the caregivers, the only other option is a home.

Agitation and aggression

As mental difficulties get worse, elderly people may begin to change. Someone who has been kind and compassionate could become aggressive and easily agitated. These changes mean that the disease is getting worse and professional care may be needed. This is especially true if unofficial caregivers — like you and your siblings — feel threatened and overwhelmed.

Wandering

One of the most dangerous things for elderly people with mental disorders like dementia is when they start wandering. An elderly person may feel fine, walk to the store, and then have an episode that causes them to forget where they live. They can get lost, something that is very dangerous and potentially fatal. When a person starts wandering, they need around-the-clock care.

Your role

As you deal with your parent’s living situation and estate, be sure you fully understand all of your options and the steps you need to take.

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Even though he lived to the ripe old age of 95, fans around the world were still devastated by the death of Stan Lee in Los Angeles earlier this month. As one of the creators of X-Men, Spider-Man, Black Panther, The Incredible Hulk and the Marvel Universe, Lee’s fortune at the time of his death was estimated to be anywhere from $50 million to $80 million. His surviving family members are his daughter and a brother.

However, the battle over his estate started while he was still alive — and it was a public one. Lee’s daughter, known as JC, appears to be at the center of it.

Earlier this year, Lee filed a declaration stating that he and his wife, who predeceased him, had supported their daughter well into adulthood. He said that she “had trouble supporting herself and often overspent.” He said that her monthly credit card bills could run as high as $40,000. Lee noted that no matter how much money he and her mother gave her, “she has always demanded more, more, more….”

Further, Lee accused his daughter of demanding that he give her some of the family’s homes. He also said that she demanded that he not make any changes to his estate plan without a review by her and her attorneys.

Just what authority JC Lee has over her father’s estate is uncertain. His declaration said that she had no fiduciary capacity regarding any of his estate documents except his health care power of attorney. It’s not known whether the estate has gone to probate yet here in LA, how it is being divided between his living family members and others and whether the terms will be disputed.

Sometimes, there’s no way to guarantee that a disgruntled family member won’t dispute an estate plan — no matter how meticulously the documents are drafted. However, Californians can take steps, with the guidance of their estate planning attorneys, to minimize conflicts over their estates after they’re gone.

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Many people see their estate plan as a means not just to leave money to their grandchildren and others in younger and future generations, but specifically to help them (and their parents) pay for the best possible education they can get. Setting up a trust is a popular way to do that. There’s more than one way to set aside money for future educational needs. It’s important to choose the one that best meets your family’s needs and is fair to everyone.

Some people establish a separate trust for each child. If you have two grandchildren, you could set up a trust for each one and fund both equally. If your goal is to treat both kids the same, that might be the best option. However, if one child chooses to stay close to home and go to a state school while the other goes off to Harvard, those inheritances won’t go the same distance.

Another option is what’s sometimes known as a “pot trust.” You put money into the trust, and then beneficiaries request funds based on their needs. While this type of trust can allow beneficiaries to get different amounts, it’s crucial to set the same terms for everyone. For example, you can designate that the money must be used for tuition, room and board and books — not for a gap year working as an unpaid studio intern or traveling the world (unless you want to fund those activities, of course).

If those hypothetical grandchildren aren’t close in age, a pot trust might be unfair to the younger one who may find that there’s no money left for them once their sibling has finished their education. If there’s a significant age disparity, separate trusts may be a better option.

Yet another option to help fund your grandchildren’s education is a 529 college savings plan. These are tax-advantaged plans that allow families to put aside money for children’s education (from kindergarten through college and potentially beyond).

Whether you’re considering an educational trust for your children, grandchildren or others, it’s essential to discuss your goals with your California estate planning attorney. They can help you choose and craft the type of trust that will best serve those goals.

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Many people take advantage of having their families together over the holidays to discuss their estate plans. Maybe you’re in the early stages of thinking about your plan. Perhaps you have one in place and just want to check in with everyone to see if there are things that you need to revise.

Maybe the daughter you’ve appointed as your executor is planning to move overseas. That could make it difficult for her to carry out her duties. Maybe the son you’re leaving your Big Bear vacation home to no longer wants it. Of course, big life events, like marriage, babies, divorce and death, are also times to look at necessary modifications to your estate plan.

Many people with two or more adult kids hesitate to have these conversations with them if they’re not leaving them equal shares of their estate. Some experts recommend against unequal inheritances because of the rancor they can cause. However, you may have a good reason for this inequality.

For example, if you have a child whom you’ve had to give added financial support over the years, you may feel it’s best to leave your other kids more after you’re gone. One of your children may have done more to help you out if you became ill or disabled, so you believe you owe them more.

Sometimes, a good way to even out what you believe is a necessary imbalance is to give one child — for instance, the caregiver — more while you’re still alive. That way, you can leave an equal inheritance to all of your children.

Sometimes, parents choose to leave more to an adult child who isn’t as financially well-off as their siblings. That may make sense to you but can also cause resentment among your kids who may feel like they’re being penalized for their hard work and success.

If you’re leaving unequal shares of your estate to your children, it’s best to talk to them about it while you’re still around and explain how you arrived at your decision. While this can result in some unpleasant conversations, it’s better that they understand that you made the decision without coercion and have a chance to ask questions or even express their anger. Your attorney can provide some guidance for having these conversations and other difficult aspects of estate planning.

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If you have recently lost a loved one, it is likely that you are going through a stressful time. It can be difficult to manage the grieving process at the same time as the logistical aspects, such as arranging the funeral and starting the probate process. This is especially true if your loved one did not leave a will. It is important to utilize the support offered by family and friends during this time.

When a person did not leave a will at the end of their life, this is known in legal terms as intestacy. While the process can be more complex than when a person has left a will, there are still clear and precise laws in place to help govern the process.

Who will be the heirs of an estate when there is no will?

In the state of California, there are specific laws that address who will be set to inherit the estate of a person without a will. If the deceased person was married or in a domestic partnership at the time of his or her death, their estate will be transferred to their partner.

If this is not the case, the estate will be divided equally among the decedent’s children. If the decedent has no children, the estate will be distributed between their parents, siblings or grandparents, in this order.

What assets will be distributed among these relatives?

The assets that will be divided among the appropriate relatives are part of the intestate succession when there is no will present. However, there are certain assets that do not qualify to pass through intestate succession, and therefore, the relatives in question will not be set to inherit them. Assets that are not eligible include payable on death bank accounts, retirement accounts, property that is held in a living trust, life insurance plans and jointly held property.

If you are dealing with the processing of an estate when a will was not left, it is important that you take the time to understand the laws in California. There is a specific process when it comes to probate that must be adhered to in a particular order.

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As we approach the holidays, many Americans are committing to finally discussing their estate plans with their family members. This may be the only time of the year when everyone is together in one place. Whether you have most of your decisions made or need input from your family before beginning to draft the plan with your attorney, some discussion is always best. This can help prevent conflict, confusion and surprises after you’re gone.

Even if you’re making decisions that will be unpopular with one or more family members, if they understand your reasoning and know that you’re making the decisions without anyone influencing you, they’ll be more likely to accept them rather than contest the estate in court.

You may have decided most matters and simply want to inform your loved ones. However, in many cases, it’s best to find out how people feel about your intentions.

For example, perhaps you’re planning to give your Big Sur vacation property to one of your children who lives near it. However, maybe they don’t want it, while another one of your kids would really enjoy it. You might be planning to leave a greater share of your wealth to the child who has the least amount of money and the most financial responsibilities. However, that child may not want to be treated any different than their siblings.

If you’re choosing a family member to be the estate executor or for some other fiduciary capacity, like overseeing your health care directive, make sure that the person you’ve chosen (and any alternates) is willing and feels able to handle this responsibility.

There may be some topics you’d rather discuss only with the individuals involved (for example, if you’ve decided not to leave one of your children anything or to put their funds in a trust). At least, you may want to talk to them alone before sharing your decisions with the entire family.

Everyone’s family dynamics are unique. If you have questions or concerns about how to discuss your estate plan with your family, your California estate planning attorney can likely offer some valuable guidance.

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Your older sister was named the executor of your father’s estate. Your dad was your last living parent. You were fine with her having that job. She’s a retired realtor who at one point in her life worked on Wall Street. Therefore, she had the time and the skills to handle the job.

Now that the estate is just about settled, and she gives you the necessary documents to sign, you learn that she took a $20,000 fee for herself from the $1 million estate. Can she do that?

That’s actually a reasonable executor fee for California. However, it’s preferable if the fee is detailed in the estate plan when a person drafts it. Under our state’s probate law, the typical amount is:

• 4 percent for the initial $100,000
• 3 percent for up to the next $100,000
• 2 percent for the remaining $800,000

On estates valued at more than $1 million, the executor is usually paid 1 percent on the next $9 million and then .05 percent for the next $15 million. Therefore, a standard executor’s fee for a $1 million estate would be $23,000.

If the fee the executor is taking is reasonable, which it would be in this hypothetical scenario, it’s likely not worth taking someone to court for. However, if someone suddenly presents a bill to the estate without discussing it with the family, it might be reasonable to wonder what else they’ve done without first discussing it with you.

As noted, it’s generally best if the grantor of an estate designates the executor’s fee and makes sure they know what it is and believes it’s fair. If that hasn’t been done, it might be a good idea for the family to discuss the fee before the settlement of the estate begins. Wherever you are in the estate planning or administration process, an experienced California estate planning attorney can answer your questions and provide guidance based on the California Probate Code.

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