One of your parents already passed away, leaving the remaining parent living at home alone. At first, it’s not a problem. Soon, though, it becomes clear that your parent needs more assistance. Living alone is difficult and even dangerous.

You love your parent, and you know how hard it will be to move out of the house, but you can’t avoid the issue. When is the right time to put them in an assisted living home? How do you know if it’s time to make the move or if you need to give them some more time on their own?

It’s a sensitive subject, to be sure. Your parent may not like you weighing in on it at all. But you have to do what is best for them, even when they don’t know what that is.

Home safety

The first thing to look for, as noted above, is a lack of basic safety in the home. Maybe your parent has dementia, and you worry that they’re going to accidentally leave the gas on when cooking on the stove. Maybe they have physical disabilities, and you worry that they’re going to slip in the shower. When you have significant safety concerns and you can’t be there yourself, it may be time for a move.

Too much for caregivers

One intermediate step is to have a caregiver in the home. This could be a family member. It could be someone you hire to help out. This person can drop by once a day to help with things — shopping, cleaning, cooking, showering, etc — that your parent can’t do anymore. This may work for a time, but when it becomes too stressful and too much for the caregivers, the only other option is a home.

Agitation and aggression

As mental difficulties get worse, elderly people may begin to change. Someone who has been kind and compassionate could become aggressive and easily agitated. These changes mean that the disease is getting worse and professional care may be needed. This is especially true if unofficial caregivers — like you and your siblings — feel threatened and overwhelmed.

Wandering

One of the most dangerous things for elderly people with mental disorders like dementia is when they start wandering. An elderly person may feel fine, walk to the store, and then have an episode that causes them to forget where they live. They can get lost, something that is very dangerous and potentially fatal. When a person starts wandering, they need around-the-clock care.

Your role

As you deal with your parent’s living situation and estate, be sure you fully understand all of your options and the steps you need to take.

Even though he lived to the ripe old age of 95, fans around the world were still devastated by the death of Stan Lee in Los Angeles earlier this month. As one of the creators of X-Men, Spider-Man, Black Panther, The Incredible Hulk and the Marvel Universe, Lee’s fortune at the time of his death was estimated to be anywhere from $50 million to $80 million. His surviving family members are his daughter and a brother.

However, the battle over his estate started while he was still alive — and it was a public one. Lee’s daughter, known as JC, appears to be at the center of it.

Earlier this year, Lee filed a declaration stating that he and his wife, who predeceased him, had supported their daughter well into adulthood. He said that she “had trouble supporting herself and often overspent.” He said that her monthly credit card bills could run as high as $40,000. Lee noted that no matter how much money he and her mother gave her, “she has always demanded more, more, more….”

Further, Lee accused his daughter of demanding that he give her some of the family’s homes. He also said that she demanded that he not make any changes to his estate plan without a review by her and her attorneys.

Just what authority JC Lee has over her father’s estate is uncertain. His declaration said that she had no fiduciary capacity regarding any of his estate documents except his health care power of attorney. It’s not known whether the estate has gone to probate yet here in LA, how it is being divided between his living family members and others and whether the terms will be disputed.

Sometimes, there’s no way to guarantee that a disgruntled family member won’t dispute an estate plan — no matter how meticulously the documents are drafted. However, Californians can take steps, with the guidance of their estate planning attorneys, to minimize conflicts over their estates after they’re gone.

Many people see their estate plan as a means not just to leave money to their grandchildren and others in younger and future generations, but specifically to help them (and their parents) pay for the best possible education they can get. Setting up a trust is a popular way to do that. There’s more than one way to set aside money for future educational needs. It’s important to choose the one that best meets your family’s needs and is fair to everyone.

Some people establish a separate trust for each child. If you have two grandchildren, you could set up a trust for each one and fund both equally. If your goal is to treat both kids the same, that might be the best option. However, if one child chooses to stay close to home and go to a state school while the other goes off to Harvard, those inheritances won’t go the same distance.

Another option is what’s sometimes known as a “pot trust.” You put money into the trust, and then beneficiaries request funds based on their needs. While this type of trust can allow beneficiaries to get different amounts, it’s crucial to set the same terms for everyone. For example, you can designate that the money must be used for tuition, room and board and books — not for a gap year working as an unpaid studio intern or traveling the world (unless you want to fund those activities, of course).

If those hypothetical grandchildren aren’t close in age, a pot trust might be unfair to the younger one who may find that there’s no money left for them once their sibling has finished their education. If there’s a significant age disparity, separate trusts may be a better option.

Yet another option to help fund your grandchildren’s education is a 529 college savings plan. These are tax-advantaged plans that allow families to put aside money for children’s education (from kindergarten through college and potentially beyond).

Whether you’re considering an educational trust for your children, grandchildren or others, it’s essential to discuss your goals with your California estate planning attorney. They can help you choose and craft the type of trust that will best serve those goals.

Many people take advantage of having their families together over the holidays to discuss their estate plans. Maybe you’re in the early stages of thinking about your plan. Perhaps you have one in place and just want to check in with everyone to see if there are things that you need to revise.

Maybe the daughter you’ve appointed as your executor is planning to move overseas. That could make it difficult for her to carry out her duties. Maybe the son you’re leaving your Big Bear vacation home to no longer wants it. Of course, big life events, like marriage, babies, divorce and death, are also times to look at necessary modifications to your estate plan.

Many people with two or more adult kids hesitate to have these conversations with them if they’re not leaving them equal shares of their estate. Some experts recommend against unequal inheritances because of the rancor they can cause. However, you may have a good reason for this inequality.

For example, if you have a child whom you’ve had to give added financial support over the years, you may feel it’s best to leave your other kids more after you’re gone. One of your children may have done more to help you out if you became ill or disabled, so you believe you owe them more.

Sometimes, a good way to even out what you believe is a necessary imbalance is to give one child — for instance, the caregiver — more while you’re still alive. That way, you can leave an equal inheritance to all of your children.

Sometimes, parents choose to leave more to an adult child who isn’t as financially well-off as their siblings. That may make sense to you but can also cause resentment among your kids who may feel like they’re being penalized for their hard work and success.

If you’re leaving unequal shares of your estate to your children, it’s best to talk to them about it while you’re still around and explain how you arrived at your decision. While this can result in some unpleasant conversations, it’s better that they understand that you made the decision without coercion and have a chance to ask questions or even express their anger. Your attorney can provide some guidance for having these conversations and other difficult aspects of estate planning.

If you have recently lost a loved one, it is likely that you are going through a stressful time. It can be difficult to manage the grieving process at the same time as the logistical aspects, such as arranging the funeral and starting the probate process. This is especially true if your loved one did not leave a will. It is important to utilize the support offered by family and friends during this time.

When a person did not leave a will at the end of their life, this is known in legal terms as intestacy. While the process can be more complex than when a person has left a will, there are still clear and precise laws in place to help govern the process.

Who will be the heirs of an estate when there is no will?

In the state of California, there are specific laws that address who will be set to inherit the estate of a person without a will. If the deceased person was married or in a domestic partnership at the time of his or her death, their estate will be transferred to their partner.

If this is not the case, the estate will be divided equally among the decedent’s children. If the decedent has no children, the estate will be distributed between their parents, siblings or grandparents, in this order.

What assets will be distributed among these relatives?

The assets that will be divided among the appropriate relatives are part of the intestate succession when there is no will present. However, there are certain assets that do not qualify to pass through intestate succession, and therefore, the relatives in question will not be set to inherit them. Assets that are not eligible include payable on death bank accounts, retirement accounts, property that is held in a living trust, life insurance plans and jointly held property.

If you are dealing with the processing of an estate when a will was not left, it is important that you take the time to understand the laws in California. There is a specific process when it comes to probate that must be adhered to in a particular order.

As we approach the holidays, many Americans are committing to finally discussing their estate plans with their family members. This may be the only time of the year when everyone is together in one place. Whether you have most of your decisions made or need input from your family before beginning to draft the plan with your attorney, some discussion is always best. This can help prevent conflict, confusion and surprises after you’re gone.

Even if you’re making decisions that will be unpopular with one or more family members, if they understand your reasoning and know that you’re making the decisions without anyone influencing you, they’ll be more likely to accept them rather than contest the estate in court.

You may have decided most matters and simply want to inform your loved ones. However, in many cases, it’s best to find out how people feel about your intentions.

For example, perhaps you’re planning to give your Big Sur vacation property to one of your children who lives near it. However, maybe they don’t want it, while another one of your kids would really enjoy it. You might be planning to leave a greater share of your wealth to the child who has the least amount of money and the most financial responsibilities. However, that child may not want to be treated any different than their siblings.

If you’re choosing a family member to be the estate executor or for some other fiduciary capacity, like overseeing your health care directive, make sure that the person you’ve chosen (and any alternates) is willing and feels able to handle this responsibility.

There may be some topics you’d rather discuss only with the individuals involved (for example, if you’ve decided not to leave one of your children anything or to put their funds in a trust). At least, you may want to talk to them alone before sharing your decisions with the entire family.

Everyone’s family dynamics are unique. If you have questions or concerns about how to discuss your estate plan with your family, your California estate planning attorney can likely offer some valuable guidance.

Your older sister was named the executor of your father’s estate. Your dad was your last living parent. You were fine with her having that job. She’s a retired realtor who at one point in her life worked on Wall Street. Therefore, she had the time and the skills to handle the job.

Now that the estate is just about settled, and she gives you the necessary documents to sign, you learn that she took a $20,000 fee for herself from the $1 million estate. Can she do that?

That’s actually a reasonable executor fee for California. However, it’s preferable if the fee is detailed in the estate plan when a person drafts it. Under our state’s probate law, the typical amount is:

  • 4 percent for the initial $100,000
  • 3 percent for up to the next $100,000
  • 2 percent for the remaining $800,000

On estates valued at more than $1 million, the executor is usually paid 1 percent on the next $9 million and then .05 percent for the next $15 million. Therefore, a standard executor’s fee for a $1 million estate would be $23,000.

If the fee the executor is taking is reasonable, which it would be in this hypothetical scenario, it’s likely not worth taking someone to court for. However, if someone suddenly presents a bill to the estate without discussing it with the family, it might be reasonable to wonder what else they’ve done without first discussing it with you.

As noted, it’s generally best if the grantor of an estate designates the executor’s fee and makes sure they know what it is and believes it’s fair. If that hasn’t been done, it might be a good idea for the family to discuss the fee before the settlement of the estate begins. Wherever you are in the estate planning or administration process, an experienced California estate planning attorney can answer your questions and provide guidance based on the California Probate Code.

A death in the family is difficult enough, but when inheritance arguments erupt, it can result in the disintegration of the entire family. Fortunately, most estate planning attorneys are well-armed with various strategies to plan an estate in a way that limits the chances of family infighting.

If you’re concerned about how well your family will get along after you die, the following recommendations are for you:

Consider your executor carefully

The executor you choose should have a good business mindset so that he or she can navigate the complexity of your estate. However, a good sense for business is not the only quality your executor needs to have. Your executor should also be patient, diplomatic and able to explain him- or herself. This will be essential to soothing any potential eruptions of misunderstanding and anger among your various beneficiaries.

You may even want to discuss with your family who would like to be the executor and who family members feel would make the best executor. If there’s one trusted and responsible member of the family whom everyone seems to like and want to carry out this role, you might consider that person to be your best choice.

Divide your estate fairly

When deciding how to divvy up your estate among heirs, think how you can make the distribution as fair as possible. If there’s a much-coveted piece of art or some other item with a lot of sentimental value for your heirs, you might want to talk with them beforehand to determine who is going to receive it.

Then, treat the others who didn’t receive it with something to balance things out. Also, even if you think it’s better to give more to one child over the other, you might want to rethink that option if the child who receives less could feel left out. Ultimately, the definition of “fair” will be different for every family.

By learning more about common estate planning strategies, you and your family can explore different solutions to meet your family’s needs. By making the preservation of peace in your family a primary goal, you’re much more likely to succeed with your wishes for the future.

If you’re one of those people whose bank statements and bills show up in your email inbox instead of your mailbox and you can’t remember the last time you bought postage stamps, congratulations on minimizing your carbon footprint. However, if most (or any) of your financial and tax information is online, you need to include your digital life in your estate plan.

Fortunately, here in California, our lawmakers are on top of this trend. There’s a state law that allows estate executors and trustees to access digital assets as long as the person to whom they belong consented to the disclosure of their digital information.

That consent involves more than simply giving your passwords to the person(s) you’ve chosen to be your executor or other administrator. Even with those passwords, they may not have a legal right to manage or even access your accounts.

Beyond your financial information, you probably have a good deal of other information online, and it may require log-in names and passwords to access. This might include your social media accounts, work information, photo albums, frequent flyer accounts, music services and more. While you’re doing your estate planning, make a list of these sites, along with access information (including required answers to personal questions) for anyone you’re authorizing to manage and access your data.

You can store this on a document accessible on your computer. However, make sure your executor knows the access information to get into your computer and the document. There are also online password management sites you can subscribe to. Some. like 1password.com may have a small monthly fee. Just be sure to keep the information current when you change a password or open a new account

Your California estate planning attorney can help you organize your digital life as you work together to develop your estate plan. They can also help ensure that your executor and other fiduciaries (including any powers of attorney you designate in case you become incapacitated) will be able to access and manage the information easily when necessary.

When your loved one is not living at their residential property, it leaves it open for people to take advantage of. This is particularly true in cases where they may not have anyone taking care of the property.

If you stop at the home and see that other people are living there, the problem you face is that there are squatters in the property. A person who unlawfully occupies a property is a squatter, and shockingly enough, they have rights.

Squatters sometimes act as if they have a right to remain on a property, and, depending on the laws, they may. In fact, if the person has been on the property for some time, then you might have to evict them.

What do you do if there are squatters in an estate property?

If there are squatters in your property, you may have to go through civil court to have them evicted. Some laws protect you if the person has been there fewer than 30 days. If the squatter has turned on the utilities or been on the property for a month or longer, you might have to go to court to get them out.

What are you allowed to do if you see a squatter on a property?

If a person is on the property already, you should immediately call the police. In some cases, the police may remove the individual as a trespasser. In other cases, they may state that it is a civil matter and requires an eviction.

If you have to seek an eviction, then give the person notice. In some cases, people leave upon receiving notice. In other cases, you’ll have to move forward with an unlawful detainer lawsuit. This is a formal eviction process.

Once you’ve won the lawsuit, a sheriff or police officer has the right to remove the individual without any further wait. This helps you clear the property and get it back for the purposes of estate planning and for the sale or transfer of the asset. Keep in mind that many people do take out their frustration on the property before leaving, so you may have to file formal charges if there is damage done to the property as a result of the squatter’s stay.

Squatters don’t always end up in empty homes, but you need to take steps to avoid this from happening. Make sure to lock doors and windows, and check your property often.